The Voice of a Father

Scroll…scroll… (eye roll) …scroll. I was just about fed up with Facebook this past Monday when this picture caught my eye and instantly brought a smile to my face. This is my dad, and with Father’s Day right around the corner and exactly 712 miles between us, I’ve been missing him like crazy.

My dad is a pastor, and due to COVID-19 this was the first Sunday in 11 weeks that the church was able to gather for worship. My eyes settled on the words projected on the wall behind him and I held back tears. I can’t tell you precisely what his message was about that day, but the title alone was enough to encourage me and lift my spirits.

WINNERS NEVER QUIT

I read those words, and just like that, my mind raced back to my childhood, when time after time my dad would confidently declare, “You can do anything you put your mind to, Kate!” I’d hear these words and many others just like them over and over again growing up. When I was in elementary school and I couldn’t sleep, worried sick about giving a report the next day.  Before middle school volleyball tryouts and every choir and orchestra concert.  When I’d throw my hands up in defeat and cry, “Math is stupid! I’m never going to get this!”

He was always there. It didn’t matter the situation, big or small, he was there cheering me on.

“You can do anything you put your mind to, Kate. Don’t give up. You can do it!”

WINNERS NEVER QUIT

Each encouraging word was a seed planted in my mind. A seed of hope, confidence, and love. However, all too often those seeds would be washed away by wave after relentless wave of negative voices crashing into the subconscious corners of my mind. “You’re not good enough!” they’d shout over and over until I felt I would drown in my own despair. My thoughts were flooded with skepticism and a long list of my personal shortcomings aiming to prove his words false.

Those words of affirmation my dad was so intentional about giving would quickly be replaced with doubt and self-loathing. “Psh! Who do you think you are? You can’t do anything right! You think just because your dad believes in you, you’re something special? Dream on. You’re nothing. A nobody. Get used to it.”  

As a teen, some of the internal struggles I was dealing with would wind up causing a lot of pain for my entire family. We were quite literally torn apart for over 7 months when I left Illinois and moved to Tupelo Children’s Mansion in Mississippi when I was 15 years old. Maybe I’ll share more on that some other time, but for now I’ll just say that although that move came with it’s own set of challenges, it also allowed me to break the surface of those thoughts that were tormenting me. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t drowning. I could breathe.  

Even across the miles, my dad continued to plant those seeds of hope and love. “I still believe in you, Kate. I love you no matter what.” And I have always known that my dad loves me. Always. He raised my sister and me as a single dad for 9 years. He showed us his love with more than just words, but in the way he cared for us. He sacrificed for us daily. He taught me many valuable lessons, I owe him so much, and I have yet to find an adequate way to express my gratitude for all he’s done for me.  

As amazing as my dad is, though, he couldn’t heal my mind. I was well into adulthood before I recognized that I’d been suffering with anxiety and depression. It’s taken the voice of my Heavenly Father planting His own seeds of truth into my spirit to calm my troubled mind.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27 (NIV)

If I close my eyes, I can still hear my dad’s voice, “You can do anything you put your mind to, Kate.” Likewise, I can open the Word of God and hear my Heavenly Father whisper, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NKJV) Aren’t His promises comforting?

Perhaps the absence of a father growing up has left your heart aching. Psalm 68:5 tells us that God is “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows…” (NIV)

Maybe you feel you would’ve been better off without a father altogether. Anger and distrust are all you have to show for being raised by a selfish, cruel, (you fill-in-the-blank) kind of father. The man that was supposed to love you the most failed miserably and left you broken. There’s promises of healing for you as well. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (NIV) The Message Bible translates it like this:

“If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.”

Whether you’re drowning in your own thoughts, or the hurts caused by others, we’ve all been in a position where we’ve needed help to “catch our breath.” Regardless of our situation, God’s voice continues to plant seeds of hope and love in our minds and hearts. “I have loved you with an everlasting love. I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” Jeremiah 31:3 (NIV)

Once I finally accepted God’s love for me, all the words of encouragement my dad had poured into me finally began to take root. It hasn’t happened overnight, and I’m still a work in progress, but I’m so grateful for my dad’s unwavering love and support.

To my dad, you’re truly one of a kind. Thank you for loving me, especially when I was difficult to love. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for speaking truth into my life. And most importantly, thank you for always pointing me to Christ, whose grace is endless.

To all you fathers out there doing your best to lead and guide your family, to provide, and to show love to your children no matter what life brings, remember…

WINNERS NEVER QUIT

Never quit speaking life into your children. They’re listening.

Never quit teaching your children. They need your guidance.

Never quit sacrificing. Your dedication isn’t going unnoticed.

Never quit telling cheesy dad jokes. We hate to admit it, but they’re funny!

And finally, never quit being you! You are loved. You are enough and you, my friend, are a winner!