Following the (Unseen) Plan

“You’re fine. Just breathe,” I thought to myself as I sat at my desk, eyes closed, heart racing. I had just dismissed 23 fourth graders for the day and was preparing for an after school district meeting. I could handle teaching 9 and 10-year-olds 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, no problem. This meeting was going to be the death of me, though. I just knew it.

I could feel my muscles tensing up as negative thoughts started bombarding my mind. “What is wrong with you? Why can’t you just be normal? A real professional wouldn’t have these feelings. You aren’t good enough for this job.”

I’d been in this same spot before. Many times. I wasn’t presenting at this meeting, but that didn’t matter. All I had to do was show up, listen, and participate. So, what was the problem?

I didn’t know the plan. 

I didn’t know what to expect. 

Fear of the unknown was overwhelming me. 

What if I say the wrong thing? What if I don’t know what they’re talking about? Where do I sit? Oh, my goodness, what if we have to do some cheesy ice breaker and I make a fool of myself? What if, what if, what if…

Have you ever been there? Has that feeling of not being in complete control of a situation ever made you feel like you were going to spiral out of control yourself?

I had never told any of my coworkers that I was struggling with anxiety. I’d barely mentioned it to my closest friends and family, for that matter. So, perhaps it was the deer in headlights look I had plastered on my face that caused my mentor to notice my uneasiness. Or the fact that I left that meeting face flushed, drenched in sweat. Ugh! Either way, she took note and began to do the kindest thing for me. 

She started sharing the plan with me in advance.

My mentor also happened to be in charge of planning and running those meetings. She already knew what was coming! She started telling me about the icebreakers a day or so early because she knew I’d be obsessing about it otherwise. She’d clue me in on possible discussion questions to consider so I’d have time to process my thoughts. And most importantly, she’d send me quick emails with comforting messages. “Don’t worry. It’s going to be ok.” 

Oh, wouldn’t it be great if life were like that? If we could get a heads up when we were about to be thrown a curveball? I mean, God already knows what’s going to happen! Wouldn’t it be easier if He just shared the plan with us? Something as simple as:

Dear Child, your loved one is about to get sick. It’s going to look bad for a while, but they’re going to make it.

Dear Child, I know you’re feeling very secure in your job, but you’re about to be laid off. Start thinking about plan B.

Dear Child, a pandemic is about to come out of nowhere and change everything. Just an FYI.

But that’s not how life works, and that’s not how God operates. He probably knows if we could see what was up ahead, we’d try to take control. I know I would. Instead, He asks us to have faith in Him and to follow His lead, step by step. And because He’s so kind, He gives us beautiful promises in His Word that we can rely on and find comfort in during the journey.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Every single day we have the opportunity to leave our worries, fears, and doubts about the future in God’s hands. He invites us to walk side by side with Him as He helps us navigate our way through this unpredictable life. We can face the future with confidence and peace as He gently reminds us, “I know the plan. And it’s good! Just trust Me.”

Dear Child, don’t worry. It’s going to be ok.